Height: 167cm
Weight Start: 110kg
GOAL: 70kg

Like I said, YUCKY. My ultimate goal is slightly lower but i will be happy with 70kg lol! So for tomorrow my three MBS goals are:

M: Listen to music while I sort and organise
B: Eat to points, Go for a walk
S: Do a bible study

Here is my wish list for this week…. Wish is probably an understatement, Dream list is more accurate! all the same, YUM!

YUM OH YUM! These are divine. (source: www.style.com )

Now for the realistic, “Pandas- Im-sure-I-can-get-If-the-bloody-newsagent-has-unpacked-its-boxes-this-weekend-cause -they-are-intolerably-lazy-and-yes-we-have-more-than-one-newsagent-in-my-town-but-they-dont-stock-it-due-to-the-fact-they-are-redneck-hillbillies-,-i-kid-you-not-HILLBILLIES!!!” List:

“Ahem, It seems we are having technical difficulties. A thousand apologies!” The item I am coveting that I can actually afford and (usually) purchase in my redneck hillbilly town.

it is *drumroll please* FRANKIE Magazine:
http://www.frankie.com.au/cms/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=39

I am dropping the littlest one off at my mothers on Sunday afternoon, purchasing a bottle of rather yummy fizzy drink, probably full sugar (heaven forbid lol) and sitting in my tiny living room  and with no interruptions  I am planning to spend at least an hour, flicking through the beautifully created pages, savouring each magnificentlly written article almost to the point of obsessiveness. Then Im heading off to An Art Gallery in the my hillbilly town where they are showing an Exhibition called “Imagine the Art of john Lennon” with 60 sketches and handwritten song manuscripts. Very excited!

ahhhh Bliss! thats more valuable than anything else on my wish list ;o)
 Eats Shoots and Leaves. Peace Out xoxo
P.S Hope you have a great ANZAC day, Im hoping to get many a photo at the dawn service and if you are particularly lovely to me, I may even post a few on here!!

RULAGE:
1. You must include this link to Sex Talk – Sex Advice for Men.

2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.

3. You must tag three people.
_________________________________________________________

1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night? Morning, hands down. At night, i go to bed to sleep and usually roll into bed and am out like a light within a few min.

2. Better Sex Music – Sade or Marvin Gaye? from other peoples answers i am guessing marvin gaye is the good ol’ bow chicka bow wow type of music. I actually prefer dance music…….. lol
3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?  I soooo have never trusted any one enough to do either. But i used to work in a photo lab, printing photos and you would not believe how many people put their personal nude, sex position  pics in to get processed. Thing is, you have to look at the film to be able to print it correctly so you have to ,look!.

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House? Isnt that house dude really old? George cloony is still a spunk.
5. Vibrator or Dildo? Vibrator.  My husband goes away for work; regularly. No  further explanation needed.

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On? I like having obscure light situations, Like the blinds slightly open or the door ajar, it adds a different dimension to everything.

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt? In a non-sexual context i have been known to use the C word as an insult, particularly when im inhebriated.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?  the homer simpson pat on the bum.

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane? Hmmm, i have never done either. But i would very much like to try both!

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North? who the who?.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson? Jenna! but i have a secret girl crush on Jenny Mcarthy 

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape? Silk scarves or fluffy handcuffs..

14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex? oooooh cant say ive ever done either. cant say i ever would. not in the forseeable future anyway.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs? Stripping. I have always been absolutely fascinated by the strength and stamina those women have. Also, I love the pretty costumes and kick arse shoes.
16. Which Threesome – Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl? Id do either,

17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil? oh oh oh, there is this awesome one  that is flavoured and gets warm with friction.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow? swallow.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex With a Stranger?  ive done both, both are equally as exciting.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross? nothing. Im not the tie-ee, im the tie-er!.

I’m tagging… Wanna, Nicky

After I focused my eyes and got my bearings, it really was rather adorable. She hasnt slept since though and we are currently at ten-and-a-half-hours-awake and counting. Hopefully she’ll flake out early tonight and the other half and I can have a romantic eveing…….

ahhhh that would be lovely!

In other news, I am currently applying to university to complete a foundation program in Health sciences so I can go on to do either nursing or midwifery next year. I didnt pay much attention in either maths or science and the whole quantive problem solving section of my mind is a wee bit rusty, so this course will help me grease the wheels again!

I have had a good day though and Im thinking that perhaps waking up early isnt such a bad thing….. dont get me wrong i usually emerge before 7am, and 430 is disgustingly early, but a nice medium, 530-6am could be beneficial, particularly when it comes to losing weight. I had so much more energy to go walking this morning and my brain was still half asleep so there was less mental resistance!!

Eats Shoots and Leave. Peace Out xoxoxo

For a gal that used to run 10km most days without even breaking a sweat, todays huffy puffy sesh was quite an experience. I now undestand what my nan meant when she used to quip ” I would exercise but im afraid my stockings would start a fire”.  the insides of my thighs are red and i have huge liquid filled blisters on my heels from the lead filled trainers….. mmmm tasty image!

Aside from the chaffing and blisters, i Survived. Im alive to tell the tale. Its just a matter of “rinse and repeat” everyday for the rest of my life. This is no short term solution, I want to be a fit and spunky panda in 40years time, rocking the Kasbah in a gold lamae frock, doing body shots on the bar.

It occured to me today, that I am actually a drag queen  trapped in a womans body. Its quite disheartening really because being a drag queen and all that goes with the fashion and and the dancing and awesomeness is not acceptable in a woman speshially not a panda.  Mind you,  drag queens cop alot of crap to, so maybe the moral of this rambling musing is that we should all let our freak flags fly, despite what everyone else thinks…….

Eats Shoots and Leaves. Peace out xox

PHAT PANDA: The term ‘Globesity’ is one that many are  referring to when discussing the increasing girth of society. From panda cubs to geriatric kung-fu pandas from days gone by,  the cuddly  figure is fast becoming catastrophic health crisis.

So how does  every day Joe Panda deal with coronary inducing cuddliness? Is there cure for curviness? I talk to Fatt Panda on what it is like to be Excessivly cuddly………

Phat Panda:  Fatt Panda, by todays standard you are considered to be significantly cuddly than many of your peers. How does this make you feel?
Fatt Panda: Well Phat, lets put this in real terms shall we? Im beyond cuddly. I passed the border into Chunk-tastic land many moons ago. Im more inclined to use terms such as rotund, flabby, hefty and obese when reffering to my furry fabulous self. There is an obsession with being waiferific these days and it can be hard not to become despondant when waiferific pert pandas are flashed into view every 3.4 seconds. However despite what everyother panda is doing my rotundness is not acceptable by any standards. It is unhealthy and that makes me a very very sad panda.

Phat Panda: I notice that you still describe your self as ‘furry and fabulous’. Dont you feel that being considerably obese cuts you out of the fabulous field?

Fatt Panda: *cough cough (chokes on half digested bamboo shoot)* Ahhhh Phat, I have to say that No, being considerably curvaceous and excessivly cuddly does not change that I am a fun loving, fur goddess who is utterly fabulous. I agree that while my exterior may leave abit to be desired, my soul, spirit and sense of humour are most definately in tact, In fact i have come to the belief that pandas carrying extra cuddliness are perhaps slightly more fabulous than those who have never had to work on their internal beauty. So in that respect, I beleive its a blessing.

Phat Panda : *mutters under breathe that doesnt stop your arse from wobbling* So Fatt, with 22%of women over the age of 25 considered obese in Australia, Who do you blame for your cuddly curse? Was it your parents for not teaching you how to be healthy? Your school perhaps for not encouraging panda PE?  is your Panda Partner to blame, for upsizing your creamy meals? Or was it panda cubs fault, causing those cravings while you were pregnant? Who do you blame?

Fatt Panda: Phat, my cuddly crisis is nobodys fault but my own.  I fed myself, I put off physical activity and I ate more than was necessary. I take full responsibility for the situation I am in. The positive side of the stone is that because I created this problem, I can resolve it.

Phat Panda: While it has disturbed me, having to look at your enourmous cuddle lumps during this interview, I applaud you for speaking out about your cuddlerific catastrophe that you caused yourself. Thanks for your time Fatt Panda.

Fatt Panda: Thank you. Oh, and this……….. is for being such a total b*tch about my wobbly backside.

Yes, it did end on a slightly less positive note than i would have liked, but she brought up my bum, AS IF YOU DO!!!!

So dear travellers of the mystical and splendiforous world this blog is about one pandas journey from catastrophically cuddley to cautiously curvey.

Eat shoots and Leaves. Peace Out xoxox